


Realization

by Mewmixey



Category: Hetalia: Axis Powers
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-09
Updated: 2019-12-09
Packaged: 2021-02-26 02:34:45
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 427
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21736156
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mewmixey/pseuds/Mewmixey
Summary: Ludwig thinks about things. He thinks about life and death and love.And Ludwig realizes something about himself.
Relationships: Germany/North Italy (Hetalia)
Comments: 6
Kudos: 43





	Realization

Ludwig had lots of time to think lately. 

Work had slowed and he simply had too much time on his hands. 

So sometimes, he'd lay in bed and just think. He'd think about the times before war, with Gilbert, playing in gardens and letting wild animals. He'd think about the things he had seen, all the lives lost and the horrors he toiled through. 

Something he noticed was a strange pattern in all his memories. 

Ludwig always found women... Unappealing. It's not that he thought all women were ugly, oh dear god no. He met all sorts of pretty women in his long life. No, this was different. 

He found himself a little repulsed at the thought of being with one. Actually loving a woman was something he just couldn't imagine. 

No, Ludwig found his eyes drawn to men. He could spend hours of a day dreaming and thinking about men. He always mistook this for admiration. He met plenty of men who were strong and handsome and always felt his heart skip a beat at the sight of them. He thought, surely, this was his mind's way of saying "we need to be like that!" 

Ludwig found himself feeling this towards some of his other nations as well. Russia was strong and tall and his accent sent Ludwig's heart into fits. America was a bit boisterous but truly smart and could rival Russia's strength. France was thoughtful and put great effort into appearances. England was strong willed. China was wise. Japan was creative. South Italy, despite his supposed hatred for him, could be caring when he wanted and had amazing ideas. North Italy.... 

Ludwig could talk forever about Feliciano. Despite his small and meek demeanor, Feliciano was handy with a knife and was fairly strong. He could run fast and cook amazing dishes that brought Ludwig to tears. He had the most beautiful eyes and the softest skin and was so creative and protective and Ludwig always found himself wanting to kiss those lips-

Ludwig slowly opened his eyes, staring up at the ceiling. Did he just think that? Did he usually think that? Was that normal?

He couldn't believe it at all. These questions buzzing around his brain until they suddenly stopped, making way for a bigger question. 

"Do I like men?"

Of course, nothing answered him. Nobody was there to answer. 

After a moment, he grabbed his phone from the side table, feeling a surge of anxiety that made him feel sick as he texted his brother. 

"Gil?"

"Yeah West?"

"I think I'm gay. "


End file.
